Plea from a social pariah
Just because a girl’s not getting on, it is no reason to go getting on her case about it.
I don’t know about you, but as I get older and (hopefully!) make more discerning life choices, I’m beginning to be defined as much by the things I reject, as the things I embrace.
This is particularly obvious in the ‘social freeze’ I encounter when I opt out of pursuits that many Aussies treat with a near-sacred reverence… such as social drinking. Like many others, I did my share of joyfully mindless drinking in my 20s; knocking back waaaay more than I should have, yet escaping with nothing worse than a half-day hangover and the bragging rights it endowed.
By my mid-30s, things began to change. Having more than one or two drinks produced a rather unpleasant reaction – a heartbeat so fast that I couldn’t get to sleep for hours afterwards.
Maybe eight years of yoga practice has made me more sensitive to chemical nasties. Or maybe it’s just impending middle age. Whatever the case, I REALLY like my sleep, so guess what’s going to win out?
It’s pretty clear that my body has called time on anything other than very light drinking. Sorry people, the bar is closing. Time to call a cab and head home.
By and large, I’m cool with this state of affairs – I don’t feel the desire to drink much in social situations these days, anyway. What bothers me, though, is the way many people react when I limit my alcohol consumption or skip it altogether.
Some whisper behind their hands or roll their eyes in disdain. Some cajole and plead with me to have "just one more", saying that I’m being boring, or asking why I’m depriving myself when "surely one more won’t hurt". Others get quite aggro, and keep riling me about my self-styled sobriety long after they should pull their heads in.
Righto people, it’s time to get a few things straight. In drinking minimally or not at all, I’m not being influenced by some extremist health guru. I haven’t joined a religion that frowns on booze. Nor am I trying to become holier-than-thou and rid the world of the much-prized pleasures of getting tipsy, trolleyed or trashed. I’m just trying to prevent feeling like crap.
So I’ll cut to the chase. Minimising or cutting out da booze is my business, and mine alone. If I say I don’t want another drink, or I don’t want to drink at all, that should be the end of the matter. Here’s how this scenario would run:
"Are you drinking, Fiona?"
"No, not tonight."
"Cool, no worries."
That’s it. Easy-peasy. We move on.
If you want to get stuck into the sauce, go for it. But if you want me to join in against my will, then you should probably find another drinking buddy.
Mineral water, anyone?!"
Fiona Marsden is a freelance writer with an interest in health, wellbeing and social issues. Visit her blog at http://www.healthierwealthierwiser.wordpress.com/
